Monday, 24 January 2011

The Good Day

The cinema at 10 o’clock in the morning is a very surreal place.  From what I could gather in the time I had to look around me, while still trying to control 2 year old, I got about 3 categories of people that had decided Sunday morning film watching was for them.  Firstly there was the big family that obviously used this time as a money saving venture while still allowing their children the treat of coming to the cinema. Then there was the older couples, serious about the film they were about to see, finding it inconvenient that families were allowed to be there at the same time as them and thoroughly disapproving of any minor mischief the children where getting up to and then there was the me’s.  First timers who were a bit baffled by it all.

We had decided upon Animals United as our film of choice and we were all more than a little disappointed by it.  Far to much death, moral conscience and not enough slap stick humour left the children thoroughly unimpressed, we couldn’t even bring ourselves to find any of the characters cute.  Luckily the screen was fairly empty as Humf spent predominantly most of the film running up the aisles and through the rows.  I probably missed a few of the jokes because I kept having to scan the darkness to see where he’d gone this time and I am sure I caught him trying to lure other children in to his fiendish running around plan.

That finished and though disappointing, we still all the left the cinema on a high, (that would have been the masses of sweets and popcorn we’d eaten).  So I braved tescos with them both and managed to get round even that without to much aggro or expense.  Came home laden with food to find mum had been working really hard and had had a major tidy up. Cue sigh of relief and big cheesy grin. 30 minutes later when shopping had safely stowed away out of Humfs reach and we’d all enjoyed a fried egg sandwich.  Me my mother and my daughter all sat around talking boys…It was hysterical I haven’t laughed so much in ages.  Daughter at several points in the conversation looked as if she was going to be sick or at least sharply leave the room. But she stuck with it and it was her face as Nanny was giving her the “talk” that had me rolling around the floor with laughter. Bless her, she’s probably permanently scared for life now.

We then went and had a dual hair dying session, her with a very dark purple and me with a platinum blonde.  Hers as usual just added a touch of colour to her already gorgeous thick dark hair and mine went a rather shocking shade of bright yellow. I came out from the bathroom after I’d rinsed and rather too quickly with a large smile plastered to her faced she looked at me and said “I like it, mum” I think Nanny had forewarned her not to say anything horrible when she saw me.  After they’d both pacified me in to not screaming and taking a pair of scissors to my head it was agreed a confidence boosting photo on facebook was in order.  Out came the make up and Lex had a whale of a time, torturing me in only ways a vengeful daughter who’d suffered at numerous hairbrush pulling instances can. Picture was took and posted and several thumbs up from friends later I felt ok.

We rounded the evening off with a homemade curry (now one of Ninja’s favourite dinners, ironing and homework and by 10pm the whole house was sleeping soundly.  A perfect end to a pretty perfect day.

Thursday, 20 January 2011

7 Things you never knew about me.........

1. I just can't help myself sometimes: I have an incredible lack of self control, with my mouth, my actions and my purse.  This had lead me in to some uncomfortable expensive situations at times.

2. I will hide chocolate from the kids:  if I know its a scarcity in the house I will sneak bits to eat while they are not looking.

3. I am very bad a finishing a book: even if I get just alittle bit bored I can't find the energy or the will to plow through it and I just give up, this normally leads to me starting several books and not actually finishing any of them.

4. I don't like overly muscly men: they kind of scare me and to be honest, if someone cares that much about themselves would they have room in their lives for anyone else?

5. I obsessively check my emails: I am even checking them throughout my accountancy lessons and have once or twice caught the teacher looking at me with daggers, frustrated that he can't actually have a go at me because I'm an adult and I've paid for him to be standing there in front of me. HAHA

6. I wanted to be a model when I was a teenager: This is so embarrassing, I'm 5' nothing where on earth did I think I was going to be able to be a model, I even went to some scary dingy place in London for an "interview" to do modeling (one of those pay me £1000 and I'll get you a contract jobby) and was told there that I could be put forward for hand or foot modeling but not really much else and they were trying to con money out of me...!!!

7.  I believe in the supernatural: I'm not entirely sure what I believe but I am very open minded to it all and I love reading, hearing or watching about it.  I've been to a clairvoyant and found that quite a rewarding experience but obviously not something that would suit everyone.

So there are 7 things you didn't know about me and here are some people that I would like to know 7 things about so I am going to tag them in this post

So why am I keeping my Wedding Dress.........

On the extremely rare occasion that i get to go out and do something grown up, its been so long I can't actually remember what you do.  I always look in my wardrobe despondently, route out what I'd worn five years ago on the last evening I actually went out, decide its not right for this event and so I will have to buy a new outfit. Because of this I am building a small collection of these outfits in my wardrobe, tops that are too dressy, ones that aren't dressy enough, smart satin trousers that no jacket will go with and dresses that have been bought for various weddings that I know deep within my heart that I will never wear again because when I saw the wedding photos I was so horrified at how atrocious I looked that I cried. 

The pinnacle of this collection is my wedding dress.  Why oh why am I keeping it? It wasn't massively expensive, I know without doubt my daughter wouldn't be seen in it, let alone wear it for her wedding day.  Its bulky, takes too much room in my wardrobe and I probably wouldn't get it passed my thighs now even if I tried to get it on.  I wouldn't mind but the bells for my wedding stopped ringing a long time ago, in fact my marriage has just breathed its last breath. 

Its time it went, along with all the other outfits that I "might" wear again to a different special occasion and start again.  Who knows I might actually start learning to buy things properly and have special occasion outfits in my wardrobe that I will use more than once.

Nah you're right I'll probably just keep making the same mistakes over and over again :0)

Friday, 14 January 2011

Staying strong................

Wheels keep turning and the kids keep me smiling.

Have you ever tried to brush a two year old teeth while they are chewing a fruit gum, those things are super glue for teeth under normal circumstances, with the added benefit of teeth being firmly clenched I needed a crowbar to prise his mouth apart.  You can imaging the taste can't you? as I started brushing, his face contoured and he said "disgusting".  Yes it probably is, very, but your teeth are being brushed. 

Next came the 10 minute chase around the bedrooms to brush his hair.  When I eventually caught him I tried in vain to brush the really really fuzzy bit at the back.  Somehow in between going to bed last night and getting up this morning the back of his head had been covered in still more sticky stuff that had stiffened his hair in to a horrible mat of knots that no amount of detangle spray could part. I gave up, brush the front to look smart and hoped no one would see him from behind all day.  As soon as it was done he messed it all up again by rubbing his fruit gummy hands all over it. Cue stifled cry of frustration from me.

Having accepted that this one was a lost cause this morning I headed over to number 1 son.  What an angel, only moaned alittle as I brushed his hair and even stopped playing his computer game long enough to brush his own teeth.  It was while we were having a conversation about the validity of Ham the Space Chimp actually being able to do some amazing stunt that I realised how quickly he is growing up.

Its bizarre when eldest was 6 I thought of her being so old and sensible and mature, and now he's 6 I still desperately want to baby him and not push him to hard or expect to much from him. I suppose that's the benefit with being a 2nd child. 

With eldest I hold her up as a shining example of can do and will do and isn't she fabulous, with the other 2 I'm not so preoccupied on them being the best, first, cleverest I just want them to be happy and comfortable.  Even knowing this I still can't help pushing her and I know I probably expect to much from her.  One saving grace I suppose is she knows I love her with all my heart and I am so proud of the woman she is becoming even though she makes the odd slip up now and again.  

So today I hold my head up high and say "I love my kids".   

Monday, 10 January 2011

I've lost my baking virginity

I really don't know what came over me the other day.  I've never had the urge to bake anything before in my life but suddenly I had this massive desire to make a bacon and leek pie.  Admittedly I had an excess amount of bacon left over from Christmas and my knowledge of what to do with a large quantity of uncooked bacon is rather limited and I have little if no imagination, so it seemed like an ideal solution.

I had ready to roll puff pastry sitting in the fridge (no hassle there then) but when I went to retrieve it I realised that it was actually out of date and therefore not viable as an ingredient.  Damn and drat, I'd have to make my own pastry.  

Luckily Mooki moo was on hand to guide her mother (me) through the steps of how to make pastry and together we managed to produce some dough.  Who knew, I even had plain flour in the cupboard...!!

I loved kneading the dough it was great fun, I really got to give my upper arms and shoulders a good work out and having to do that sort of thing every night of the week for dinner it was not surprising ladies may have been stronger, muscular and generally scarier in the olden days (builders biceps).

With dough ready we got out the rolling pin, by this time two more little pairs of hands decided they wanted to join in with the cooking and so for the next 10 minutes we were having to take it in turns with the roller but eventually with got a nice thin dough and we covered the base of the pie tin with it.  In went my leeks, bacon, salt, pepper and a pinch of nutmeg and then we put the pastry lid on ready for the oven.

The pie in the end took a good hour to cook (even though the recipe said 35 minutes) and it was delicious,  though I am sure I could have improved in so many ways.  Anyway here it is........................

Before lid on

With lid on :0)

Yummy with chips all cooked.

Friday, 7 January 2011

For a blog posts sake.........

Goodness me, feeling very low today.  The sky is grey and moody looking and its cold and miserable outside. 

So thought I'd vent a little as I sit solitary in my lonely office and also reflect alittle at the same time.  When we moved here to this out of the way, no one has ever heard of place 3 years ago I had really high hopes that I could reinvent myself and move myself forward mentally and emotionally and while I do feel I have been able to do that somewhat I get the feeling I could probably done the same thing if we'd stayed put in London.

Now its become crunch time and all the hopes of starting a new life for all of us up here have gone astray. Due to a mixture I suppose of the recession and our naivety of how easy it would be for us to find local work that kept us fed and watered happily. 

While we never in a million years planned for Paul to have to drive to London everyday on a permanent basis the reality is that 3 years later he is still having to do it and this has taken a toll on him, his mental health and the whole family.  We also didn't plan for a new addition (my little cherub blessing) but this also has put an unexpected twist on things.  As a family now I think we have decided that our only option really is to return to London and be closer to our families. 

Eldest child has been wanted to go back for about a year, she feels she's a city girl by heart and misses the hubbub.  6 year old is a pendulum swing of wanting to go to be nearer family and then feeling upset at the thought of leaving his friends.  He is the one I am most worried about for the upheaval.  When we moved him just to this house 18 months ago (which was in the same town as our old house) he started sleep walking really badly and had massive amount of anxiety during the day, it took him several months to settle down and gave him a very poor start at school.  2 year old will just hate it, he's not one for change of any sort but being 2 he won't remember and he will adjust. At the end of the day if he's got blankie he's pretty much ok.

Me and Paul will cope no matter what we are adults and we have to.  Yes the house will be smaller, yes the area we go won't be that great but the optimism that brought us up here will see us through getting back down there.  I need to be closer to my family, something 3 years ago I would have laughed at you if you'd suggested was the case.  My children need to be closer to their families and it will help all of us, I just wish I could shake off the feeling that I have failed in someway.  

Sunday, 2 January 2011

Wow that was nice...

I got to go shopping today with just me and Mooki moo (my 13 year old daughter) well a friend came too, but she was ok to have around as at one point I was planning to adopt her she was spending so much time over our house.  Mooki was looking for a party dress for a posh 13th birthday party in a very nice 18th century hotel.  After the last "I want to do it alone" shopping disaster, I refused to just hand over the money and leave her to it.  She was going to have to put up with me being there and worst still saying no to things that just weren't suitable.  She took this news on a surprisingly upbeat kind of way and this spurred on my confidence to suggest we might like to visit several shops before making a final choice. I awoke her from her pit at 9.30 and told her to get ready, friend was knocking at the door prompt at 10.30 and I wanted her to be ready to go (she wasn't).  After an initial panic start of does the 2 year old want to come or not, he finally decided he'd stay with Daddy (massive internal sigh of relief) and off we went. 

Wow it was lovely, it was exactly like going shopping with my mum (one of my favourite pass times) but with the roles reversed.  It was me being told, I didn't know anything about fashion (no offence mum), I was the one being used as butler to dozens of dresses that she couldn't figure out how to put back on the hanger, I was also the one being sent out of the changing room to find a different size, colour, OMG just get me something else and I didn't have any say what so ever on the music going to the shops or on the way back.  I loved every minute of it. I loved just getting some time to spend with my daughter to concentrate on her and learn abit more about her.  I loved her style, the way she smiled and the confidence that she carried with her.  I love being a mum of 3 and wouldn't change it for the world but I'm not going to beat myself up or feel guilty in future for just wanting abit of mummy/daughter time.  Its precious and it made my heart and head feel alot better today.