Sunday, 25 September 2011

The trouble with childminders.......

   Ok its been a while since I have posted and I have my excuses which I won't bore you with except maybe the one that I've just been too darn lazy to think.  This morning though I have woken having had a pretty much undisturbed night of sleep and suddenly the urge to reach out has hit me hard.

So lets start at the beginning, I have been offered a job "whoa, yeah, haz-zarh" yes its great, yes confidence has been restored somewhat and yes I am pleased but (and it's a big one) I am not that overly happy with it all.  I know big sighs of "what is wrong with you woman" maybe issuing from your mouths now and if I was reading this it would be from mine.  The thing is though, firstly it isn't the most exciting job in the world from what they have told me, the pay is average to say the least and the career prospects are almost Zelige.

Do I really want to be working in a dead-end job for effectively the same money as I am on now (when you take into account the travelling) 40 hours a week to practically not see the kids all week and then possibly have to share weekends with you-know-who.

On top of this I have ended up having massive child care issues.  This started at the beginning of term when the first week in before I had even been offered the job my what I thought was sorted childcare arrangements for going back to college came crashing down my ears. The lovely lady that has been looking after Ninja for me after school on the college day for the last 2 years roughly and who was now going to take Humf as well before and after school nursery, informed me that she wouldn't be able to have them as she had been offered a full time child and that she couldn't turn down the money.  Fair enough as desperately inconvenient that was for me, I couldn't blame her.  Lots of apologies ensued and a promise to help me find someone else.

She gave me the name of another childminder and off I trotted with the kids to meet her.  All seemed fine at first, she was able to cover the Thursday for college and she even suggested that she would have Humf for the 2 days he wasn't attending school nursery. I get offered the job that night and suddenly I need her to do full time for both the boys.  Again this didn't seem to be a problem, until she'd slept on it.  I suppose you could say it was my own fault for over-sharing, or for assuming that all people have an open heart and mind but I had told her what has been going on in my life and that obviously it may have effected the children in someways ( just to prove this point Ninja had drawn a picture of people shooting each other and dying, at her house).  I suppose having discussed what I had told her with probably everyone, most people had told her to stay clear of me and my kids.  Strangely of all the things that have happened so far, her reaction has hurt the most. 

My kids are wonderful and I am a good mum, what has happened to me isn't my fault, but the fact that this woman didn't want to get involved with me makes me feel like it is.  I didn't ask for what I am going through and I am trying my hardest to make things right and normal for my kids.  To be judged as "not the right sort of person" because my husband got arrested, my kids have been through hell and we might be left with a few scars from it makes me very angry and has also made me doubt myself.  In her apologies over the phone to me at letting me down she kept repeating that she "had to think of the other children" and that "it might not be fair to the other parents" seriously what the hell did she think my children are capable of !!

Suffice it to say between her "discussing" me and my kids with another childminder and also the shortage of places I have been left with the only option of sending Humf full-time to private nursery and Ninja to the breakfast and after school club.  Its the most expensive option, its the least loving option but its the only option I have.

So with all this sitting in the back of my mind you can maybe understand a bit more why I am not so keen to start this job. If on the other hand I am offered one of the jobs I went to interview for on Friday all this stress might be worth it, but I'll tell you more about that another time.


Tuesday, 6 September 2011

Butlins, the survival guide......

Butlins...what a wonderful and scary place.  If I was to write a guide book on how to cope with a 4 night stay there here is what I would write:

1. Arrive 1-2 hours earlier than your check in time so you can drive around the camp several times to get completely disorientated and when you are finally given your room still have absolutely no idea where you are staying.

2. Find and grab anything that vaguely looks like its a luggage trolley and then use it to push whining whinge hungry kids from the car in to (thank god at least) ground floor apartment, that you have had to park a mile away from as all the car spaces for your apartment have already been nabbed by the occupants of the holiday apartments two blocks away from you.

3.  Read the holiday guide and then throw it in the bin as it contains nothing of any relevance and has just been left in the room to make you feel stupid because none of it makes sense to anyone who hasn't actually visited before.
4. Put the oven on.  This provides a two fold service in the fact it takes around 9 hours to heat up and so it might be ready for use the next evening and it also provides some exciting entertainment for the kids while they watch you squabble with your mother on whether the thing is actually turned on or not.

5. Remember if you want to put the kettle on that you have to unplug the toaster, the microwave and the tv first.

6. If you are not queuing in the pavilion by 4.30pm for that evenings entertainment, then don't even bother trying.  Yes the shows may not really start going until 7.30pm but its like the towel and the sunbed situation around an Ibiza pool, its all about the stamina and determination to get the "best" seat.

7. Try to avoid eating at any cost, while you may think you can save money by going self catering the Spar shop in the pavilion is around 4 times the price of a normal Spar with a loaf of bread topping the list of OMG how much they charging for this?

8.  Remember candy floss sticks to everything including bottoms, pushchairs, hair and other people.

9. Make sure you pack a good strong pair of hiking boots, all your fancy 4 inch heels will be good for is wedging the front door open when you are unloading all the shopping you have had to spend the last hour and half getting from the supermarket out of the complex because your bank balance won't stand another trip to the Spar.

10. And breathe, the kids are having a fabulous time, they will remember this holiday forever and its all working out ok so just enjoy !!!!