Neat freak or Stig of the Dump

I'd like to say I'm both but my beloved would argue Stig all the way. I just can't seem to keep things tidy for more than 2 minutes, I think its heredity though my mother would kill me for saying that. I don't think it makes me a bad person just a messy one. Speaking of which I am in a real pickle.....

Mooki's 13th big birthday bash is coming up very soon and I am extremely conscience of not "showing her up". So I plan to keep as low a profile for the evening as possible, having said that I still need an outfit. I am torn, do I dress up or down? smart or casual? Jeans ok or do I need a dress. What to do what to do? Maybe I pose the question on facebook and see what other people think.

This week at college made my brain actually melted and the annoying tutor that had offended us all last week managed to upset me once again this week. He's very productive comment to me all lesson being "Caroline, you are looking very vacant but you seem to be getting everything right" I mean how bloody rude !!! He'd look sodding vacant dealing with 3 kids and one of them not having been very well.

I had eldest and middle one describe to me the conversations they have been having with their friends, it was a real eye opener. From Mooki forming a friendship with a friends boyfriend ( I am sure this will only lead to trouble) and Ninja telling me he's been discussing seeing me naked with his little school buds and that I shouldn't be mad at him.

I have so much to get organised over the next couple of weeks its almost impossible to try and fathom it. I have both the kids birthdays to organise, try and get myself back in to the swing of working and find time to get some home studying done and to top this all off my tumble dryer has packed up.!

Oh want is a girl to do.....

One week on....

I really wished someone had calmly sat me down and explained exactly what the ramifications of Humf getting his tonsils done would actually be. I don't think I thought once of all the implications which has left me very unprepared and more than a little startled.

Firstly I should have spent more time explaining to the kids what was happening and why. They just woke up Wednesday morning to Humf going to the hospital with mum and dad and them going off to school. I did manage to arrange childcare for them for school collecting time but didn't plan for dinner or putting to bed or even the possibility of Hubbie needing to stay with me. I burned bridges with my mum because she upset me with what seemed to be a lack of empathy for what was happening so was expecting no support from her..

As it happens Humf didn't go in for his operation till around 2pm. Having to hold him as they inserted the cannula and then watch as they pumped drugs in to him to make him sleep was indescribably horrible. As he all of a sudden stop crying and his eyes rolled in to the back of his head I just totally fell apart. They grabbed him off me and put him on the trolley as I nearly collapsed to the floor, then they whisked me out the room trying to calm me. As soon as I was out the room I wanted to run back and make them wake him up, it was terrible. I really had to control myself not to run back in there screaming "no don't do it, just wake him, we can go home".

The wait for him to come back was surreal, I don't think I was consciences of anything else but waiting for him to come back. Paul had left his phone on the ward so he ran back to get it and within what seems like a few minutes of him being gone I heard a child crying. I sat there in the waiting room sitting on the edge of my seat listening to this child crying, thinking that's my child, God I am so happy I can hear my child crying. I waited and no one came for me and still I heard this child crying, at this point I was starting to doubt my conviction that it was Humf so I decided to stand outside the room even though they had specifically told us to wait in there. Standing at the door frame listening to him screaming and still no one coming to get me I decided I wasn't prepared to wait any longer. My baby was in major distress and I was going to find him. Just at this point Paul came back in to the surgery room and together we walked in to the recovery room to see Humf still asleep, blood pouring down his face screaming at the top of his voice (he'd just had his tonsils removed for goodness sake) trying to get out of the arms of this nurse...I've never been so happy and so upset at the same time ever.

Looking back I can feel a bit sorry for the nurse, she was trying to do her best to calm him down. But he has both his parents fiery blood in him and he just wanted a parent not a stranger holding him while he was feeling so vunerable and scared. Paul held him, stroked his hair, rubbed his back and soothed him and he relaxed enough for them to take all the tubes off and check his blood pressure and heart rate. It took him a good two hours to come round properly and by about 4 hours after the surgery he'd managed a drink and a bit of sausage. But all he wanted to do was come home.

Much to my relief my mum had ignored my childishness and traveled up to be with my other two this allowed Paul to stay with us and support me through that first night and being in the hospital. Its been a week now and while I can't say he is totally over it he is getting better everyday. His hearing is so much improved and his breathing while he is sleeping is quieter and much more regular. So feeling positive it will all be worth it.

Roll on October and eldest 13th birthday and Ninja 6th its party time for the Hill family.

48 hours down and no homework done

Started back at college on Tuesday. It was nice to see familiar faces, though I was surprised at who was there and more importantly who wasn't. Some people are very good at hiding what's really going on with their lives. The two most diligent, teachers pet types from last year didn't go on to this year. If I'd been having a bet who was going to continue I would have put both these down as being a sure thing. Not sure how many of the newbies will last. One lady who seems quiet unassuming sure knows her stuff and wasn't fazed by the first lesson at all. Of the 3 others I can't see the professional poker player staying the course. It seems a far stretch to imagine someone who spends nights playing poker for big money suddenly wanting to work in an accounts office but you never know.

We have the pleasure of 2 tutors this year which is fine. Our Finance tutor is a big hulk of a man who knows he is big but doesn't seem to know what to do about it. He made it quiet clear we should call him Stephen not Steve and went in to a long winded explanation as to why it annoys him so much. This annoyed me somewhat especially as when we asked him what books will we need for the year he didn't have a clue. In the afternoon we have "dragon lady" erm I mean Victoria (not Vicky!!) who seems to be an extremely uptight woman who could probably do with letting her hair down alittle and feeling the "love" though I did get the impression that she may have a bit bigger than soft spot for our old tutor Mike. Hhmm I wonder if he knows?? To be fair though she was alot more organised than our morning tutor and at least she did in fact manage to teach us something and set us some homework. Which in case you are wondering no I haven't got round to doing yet.

It would have been a pleasant day at college if I wasn't constantly thinking about what was planned for Wednesday. One of the worst days of my life..!!

He had the operation. Watching him go under anesthetic was horrendous I never want to watch one of my kids go through that again unless they have to of course. The hospital was lovely and clean and they tried to make us comfortable but he hated it. From the moment he came round he wanted to go home and it was very stressful being there. Not helped by 15 year old boy in the bed next door moaning about him crying all the time. I think I will have to wait until I can get my head round what happened a bit better before I can blog about it properly but it really was awful in so many ways.

I'm just hoping it that its just onwards and upwards for this family as we certainly deserve it. :0)

Enough already !!

Seriously I don’t know where to start. Friday we took humf to get a 2nd opinion on whether he still need grommets for his ears or whether we could put it off for the time being.  We’ve ended up coming out from seeing the doctor with not only his grommets being done but also his tonsil and adenoids being taken out as well. In what can only be described as the NHS “kicking arse” as its being done this Wednesday !! I really wasn’t expecting that. I was pretty convinced that we would be able to wait to have the whole thing done maybe after Christmas, apparently not though.

I am shitting myself and I can’t think of anything else. Everything that's happened since Friday feels a bit surreal. 

Saturday I think I only left the house to go to Tesco’s, in which I wandered around not entirely sure why I was there.

Yesterday we did manage to go out to town and went in to Marks and Spencer's to look for a pair of trousers for hubbie. Of course in my capacity for being a considerate person I took the kids with me to the kids clothes, so as their father could look for a pair of trousers in peace without being distracted by nagging sons (see, loving wife). Honestly I could have spent a fortune !! why is it when ever you haven’t any money you see loads of things you want to buy. I think I picked up 5 things and that was with great restraint knowing that as soon as I took them back to hubbie I would get the raised eyebrows and the familiar speech of “why have you got that stuff then?”. If only he knew how hard it was just to choose those 5 things out of the 100 or so I could easily buy for them. They had toy story t-shirts, Thomas the tank t-shirts, pyjamas, fluffy slippers, trendy shirts and ties.  I could have literally gone mad.  So I took the 5 vaguely sensible items to him to see what he thought. He liked none of them !! I was gutted, he was annoyed because he couldn’t find any trousers so we ended up with some pj’s for Cody’s over night stay and some bra’s that I’ve got to take back.

To make up for a bit of a disappointing afternoon we decide to visit our favourite restaurant for some “all you can eat” Chinese buffet. Its not bad food, and they are very tolerate of the kids in fact they make a real fuss of them. I love the buffet for one big reason, plate of chicken, bowl of ice-cream, plate of chicken, bowl of ice-cream. This is how 5 year olds meal goes. Its hysterical I don’t understand how its doesn’t curdle in his tummy, he eats loads so I’m not going to worry. Now the 2 year old has also cotton on to the fact that you don’t have to eat all your savoury before you can have your pudding as well. So the table got covered in ice-cream and jelly before we’d even finished our starters.  It was a nice evening and the kids where very well behaved along as there was ice-cream in front of them so all in all not too bad a day.

 

I’m hoping the rest of the week goes by without to much of a hitch, and just really not looking forward to Wednesday.

Do you really think she needs that stuff now?

I’ve just sent back the permission slip to the school for them to administer the HPV vaccine to my 12 year old daughter. Does she really need it now, this year? Maybe I am being a little naive but she’s not ready for a boyfriend, let alone a sexual relationship.  I just think that if society and government think they need to vaccinate girls at the age of 12 from sexually transmitted diseases what hope do we stand in stopping them from thinking its “ok” to have underage sex because they have been “protected”. I just think its sending contradicting messages to youngsters, here’s a jab for protecting you from a disease which you should even come in to contact with legally till you are 16 but just in case you can have it at 12. I am no prude, I just worry that my already growing up too fast daughter will see this as an excuse to grow up even faster.  They are funny though. Listening to her and her mates discussing it is hilarious.  Apparently the needle is 6’ long, 3 girls have passed out while having it done and your arm practically drops off as soon as the needle goes in.  In her ranting to me at how incredibly painful this injection will be and how its absolutely worse than anything I, as her mother have ever experienced. I quietly pointed out to her that it will be no more painful than getting her eyebrows threaded (don’t ask !) and she’s had that done twice now voluntarily. We’ve discussed the issues surrounding the jab and why its a positive thing to happen to her. But it still raises concerns in my mind, if not for her but for her peers that don’t have that stronger a relationship with a parent. In the meantime I have thoroughly distracted her thoughts away from all that stuff by starting to plan her 13th birthday party. I really hope that her baby brothers don’t want the same treatment for their 13th’s as I don’t think I could cope with the pressure again. Well they do say as the kids get older the worries get bigger and does seem to be turning out that way. I would just like to know how I managed to be worrying about my kids at both ends of the scale. I mean, worrying when one is going to be out of nappies, one is fighting in the playground and panicking about when one might get in to dodgy situations because she 13 and her friends think it might be funny to get her drunk.. OMG !! 

The wheels are turning just not sure of their direction

A year of nagging and I finally decide 4 weeks before her birthday that I need to sort out her party. This year being the big 13 she wants a massive one. Silly me has agreed. Fine, I've booked the hall today, found her an "intouch" DJ and have set the wheels in motion for her big event. As she came out of school feeling really down yesterday I was really looking forward to telling her my news about her party when she got home. She was really pleased, except the date was wrong, why couldn't I pay for her to have her hair done as well and was she getting the limo she'd asked for. Excuse me while I go and slit my wrists...!!! I shall keep you in formed of my progress as we go.

The dreaded toy store

Maybe should have stayed in bed this morning, but as 5 year old was so successful in getting people to hand over money to him yesterday at work with daddy, it felt mean to let it burn a hole in his pocket. He managed to bring home £12 in small change without even having to busk for it (don't ask me how he manages it, it must be the poor urchin face he pulls whenever he sees someone with a purse). It was decided that the best place to go to spend his hard earned (ill gotten) gains was the dreaded Toys r Us store. I hate that place. Back in the day when we were a single child family toys r us was a simple place to visit, when went it was to the girl aisle and there we stayed for an hour while daughter dearest tried to decide which barbie to get this time. Nowadays and two further children later its horrid. Nothing proves more that we are individuals than that place, its a mine field and its so confusing. Daughter dearest just gets the hump if we have to go there at all now, 5 year old seriously can not make his mind up, as he is a sporty, arts and crafty, gun loving kind of person and 2 year old just wanders around aimlessly pointing at things. We enviably end up needing to split up as 2 year old may think he's capable of playing 5 year old boys games he's actually not. So off Daddy and eldest boy trot off to try to decide if today is a gun, football or playdoh sort of day. I am left with toddler and the fireman Sam aisle. Which is fine, except today when were scared out of our wits. There we were happily checking out the new Dora doll (he likes Dora) when we heard a miaow. Thinking this was slightly strange considering we were in a toyshop not pet shop we turned round to found where the noise was coming from. As we turn 3 boxed up, glassy eyed pussy cats all winked at us and miaowed again. I don't know who screamed the loudest me or him. In animate furry things are not suppose to just come to life (granted they do in Toy Story but that is in America). He clung to me and I clung to him as we went over to them to investigate. Turns out the were FurReal cats £50 a cat and they respond to touch and sound, very clever toys that I suppose would be a lot easier to deal with when "I want a kitten" child does get bored of the idea of actually owning a real pet. They still freaked the hell out of me, I don't think I could sleep properly with it in the house knowing it could go off unexpectedly at any moment. So I don't think Santa will be bringing one home this Christmas. Eldest in the end decided on Plasticine and having been playing with it for the last 10 minutes I have much respect to the Creature Comfort people (my hands are killing me)..!!

Whose feeling whose feet right now !!

As the end of the holidays approach and I have to mentally prepare myself for the onslaught on a new school year, I thought I'd take some time to reflect on the changes that have taken place in this "mad" house over the summer. The boys have started fighting, something that hadn't happened before. Whether it had been the fact the Humf had been too young or the fact that Ninja wasn't really effected by what he was doing I don't know. But they are at it far to often for my liking. It leaves me feeling rather powerless as while my instincts go to protect the littlest one, my head knows darn well sometimes he really deserves it. When daddy is home the issues seem to melt away to a large extent. It really is an alpha male situation, crazy that we fundamentally still rely on basic natures and its never more apparent than in two brothers fighting for dominance. I am assuming with the impending school return, Ninja will be expending so much energy dealing with the outside world that his focus will be transferred from his baby brother. In the meantime Humf is constantly setting to challenge his older brother in every which way he can. Don't get me wrong their love for each other is just as apparent they miss each other terribly and wouldn't want to be parted in anyway. Ninja is incredibly caring and attentive to his baby brother, he's also extremely proud of him, introducing him to everyone he meets and involving him in games. Humf worships the ground his brother walks on, there isn't a time place or action that he doesn't want to follow his big brother in to doing. He looks on at him for guidance and inspiration (not always a positive thing I tell you). In this way I feel so lucky and it gives me faith that they will be good friends when they get older. So yes they may be feeling their feet alittle to much but they are to doing it with the safest people they can, their family.