Sunday, 19 December 2010

Mother vs Grandmother

Within hours of breaking up from school, my daughter was hankering to get down to London to stay with her Nan.  While I suppose I could take offence to the fact she couldn't wait to get away from me, I have to admit that at 13 the chance to get out of any household chores and having access to Nanny's time (and money) is probably too tempting to resist.

Nanny lives in Hampstead one of the cooler parts of town, where there are plenty of top rate fashion shops and a good chance of some star spotting.  Their normal day together consists of breakfast out in one of the classy cafes, a stroll up the high street and into office, gap, jane norman and a few exclusive independents and then a hairdressing appointment at the excellent and charming Japanese hairdressers where daughter is treated to 2 hours worth of pampering.  A normal day at home usually consists of me moaning at her about her room, doing he homework or hovering downstairs for me. Seriously how can I compete ??

Normally I take her desire to be away from me as soon as any school holidays starts with a pinch of salt.  But for some reason this time when she told me she's only planning to be home for Christmas and then she was going back down again, it hurt alittle.  Even with that I have let it go with good grace right up until the point she sent me a picture of the new shoes my mum has just bought her.  Yes they are lace ups and look quiet sturdy but they have a 4" high heel.  No way are they shoes suitable for my 13 year old especially as she wants to wear them "all the time" and the thing that annoys me most is that my mother would never have bought me those kind of shoes at her age so why the hell does she think its acceptable to buy them for my daughter.

I haven't really spoken to either of them about how strongly I feel as falling out with both of them isn't something I would want on my agenda. But I would very much like to ask my Mum why did she do it?

Putting that to one side for the moment this weekend has been one of not doing very much, which I am enjoying immensely, hopefully while I know next weekend will be busy I am hoping it will have the same relaxing feel to it that this one has.

Its the last few days now and I am hoping everyone is feeling stress free and looking forward to Saturday. xxx


  1. I featured you on my blog!
    Go check it out... the post is pretty funny and I am sure you can relate to most of it!

  2. Hey thanks for the mention in your post. It was really lovely and there wasn't a single item on there that I wouldn't agree with love

  3. Wow, mean shoes, how is your 13 year old expected to walk in them?! We don't see my mum very much, she lives near Bolton and we live in north Northumberland, 200 miles away. She doesn't understand Amy's autism and makes little effort to which does annoy me, but I guess at the end of the day, she's your daughter, just like Amy's mine, and that makes you twice as important in her life.

    CJ xx

  4. well of course it stings that your daughter is itching to race down to spend time with her Nan, and while it's not much consolation at all, imagine the sting your mum is going to feel when your daughter inevitably does not want to spend time with her either, but just uses her house as a base for going out to meet cooler, younger pals? (I am totally speaking from experience as a child, hearltess beings that we were). Maybe it might be worth you claiming her for a day over Christmas, and suggesting you have a girly day together - movie or theatre, sale shopping, get a manicure together - those things are not just your mum's domain! And as for the shoes...I'd agree with you on all points - sturdy, but too high, and I'm sure not what our mums would have let us wear when we were 13, a million years ago. Fact is, if you ask her why she bought them for her, she will probably just say "because she wanted them", and that's what Nans get to do... you'll have your turn one day!

  5. Hi CJ
    I think you are taking your mothers lack of interest very calmly I think I'd be far more up in arms about it. Hubbie is convinced mum only did it to pee me off knowing full well I am trying to slow down my daughters rush in to adulthood as far as possible. I also think she thought she'd score points over me. As it happens daughter has decided to come home from London a day early because she is missing her family and London is also covered in snow lol.

  6. Mamma-andmore excellent point I will have my revenge just as my mum is at the moment everytime said daughter slams a door in my face or puts the phone down on me because I am "boring". Mum agreed with me that she would never have bought something like that for me and still made no apologies about having done it. Having now seen them in the flesh I am even more flabbergasted that they were purchased. Daughter got me to try them on and I swear she will fall in them and hurt herself they are sooo god damn high !! The "mum you're boring" comment REALLY did sting though. God is this whats its going to be like for the next 7 years then :(

  7. Funny.... because of our exchange tonight on BMB I looked you up and only to discover I read this yesterday. Very witty. I don't know why I did not comment. Is she bored yet? :-)

  8. She's probably been asleep far to much to be bored. How much can teenagers sleep for goodness sake !! She's already told me I'll have to wake her up in the morning because "its only christmas" Love her to pieces though.


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