Ninja told me yesterday that two "little" people by that I mean his classmates, have told him he has bad breath....In honesty I panicked a little when he said this and about 1000 things raced through my mind. These mainly ranged from oh g-d, how am I going to sort this one out to, is this why he is telling me he has no friends, to should I pack him a toothbrush in his school bag, to how the heck am I going to make this not a big deal or should I. To my credit if he sensed any of this panic it was only a little as I was very good, smiled my brightest smile said "Oh did they" desperately trying to give myself time to think what was the best way forward in this possible minefield of self-consciousness and too his credit he actually didn't seem too bothered by the bad breath comments and has shouldered it as his contemporaries just pointing something out to him in the same way they might point out he had some mud on his jumper or jam on his face.
When we got home, we discussed it a bit further and between us we came to the conclusion that there wasn't too much we could do about it as he is a good toothbrusher, that recently he has had a cold and that means he has been breathing through his mouth alot more therefore causing more bacteria to sit in his throat and also he has started school dinners and they may be putting different spices and herbs in the dinner that may also be contributing to the problem. For the moment we have decided not to worry about it too much and that if it continues to be a problem we will look at maybe taking further steps to counteract the problem. I was so pragmatic about the whole thing I thought for a minute I had turned in to a man...yeah me for some solid head not heart parenting...! (seriously did not want to say or do anything that would possibly give him a complex)
Well you know how very excited about the whole new job thing I was and that it was such a massive big deal that was going to change all our lives forever, as embarrassing as it is to admit it, I have to say, I only managed 2 days. Yes, yes I know how it sounds and I also know I didn't give it much of a chance, but hear me out before you go all judgemental on me.
Dropping the kids off at 7.30am was a massive shock to all our systems to get in to work for 8.30am, we just don't do early starts as a family at all plus the fact they were bascially still asleep as I left them at nursery and I hadn't really had a chance for a cuddle or even a good morning I was so frantic not to be late.
The first day I was placed at a desk in a massive open planned office with over 100 other people in it (bare in mind I have be working from home alone for the last 4 years and that was a lot of other people to content with) where basically I spent the first half an hour blankly staring in to space (a theme that continued over the next 2 days) wondering if, this was a zombie movie who would be the first to turn and start eating people and playing spot the pyscho (trying to guess which incredibly down trodden lonely desk worker is going to be the one to walk in one day with the sawn off shot gun at start mowing down everyone who's ever so much as looked at him funny. My guess was it would be one of the tech guys, they just looked so mightly cross all the time).
When I was finally "allowed" to handle the laptop on my desk, cue peed off tech guy storming over to me huffing a lot and mumbling something under his breath (probably some computer talk curse) all he did was hand me a piece of paper with some passwords on them, tell me to change them and then I was to start reading through the computer procedures manual. I am an (almost) accountant....I do not want to know how to remote login to reboot the interface and download the thingymebob so I can back-up fifteen hours of crap and virus check my handbag, shoes and nasal spray (don't ask). I nearly fell asleep around 15 times reading all that rubbish.
At about 11.30am my "buddy" came round to see me, great!, she then proceed to take me to each and everyone of the people I would be sharing this massive office space with, introduce me and somehow expect me to stay focus and interested (g-d knows how the royals do it) I just ended up wanting to shout at her, "I don't care what department we are in I am bored and i just want to do some work".
This took me to lunch time, where I was taken aside by one of the "old hags from Macbeth" I mean the nice older ladies who work on Timesheet data entry or something, and told "be warned, tell no one your business, the office is full of people that will stab you in the back".
Day 2 was even worse as I didn't even have my "buddy" to come and talk to me, instead I was just given more procedure manuals to read. When I asked my "supposed" colleague was there anything she could show me, teach me or please at least talk to me. She just stared at me blankly, sighed a little and begrudingly handed me over some work which she explained with lighting speed so I had almost no chance of understanding. I p**d her off though as I managed to work my way through it anyway, she didn't talk to me for the rest of the day.
Crucially though when I left the building at 4.45pm there was a message on my mobile from Mooki's school telling me she wasn't well. I cried a little, I had asked during the day what the company rules where on mobile phone usage and they had bascially told me they weren't allowed across the board. So my little girl (well ok I know not so little) had had to stay at school feeling very unwell then drag herself home on the bus because I couldn't recieve the call from her school and there is no one else for the school to be able to phone, I have no family up here there is just me. Can't do it, I can't work for a company that doesn't allow me to recieve calls. I have young children, I am the only point of contact, I have to be able to be phoned, what if that had been one of the younger ones or if Mooki had been more seriously ill. So I jacked it in the next morning without a second thought.
Anyway no point crying over it, at least I know now that I can't do full time as its just not practical (I didn't see Humf for the whole 2 days as he was always asleep or about to be) and I will just have to keep looking for the elusive perfect part time role.
By the way 6 weeks till Christmas have you even thought about it yet ????!