Oh Sh*t its 2014 already

Lord, one minute I was panicking about what to buy people, how I was going to pay for it and will they think I'm a cheapskate because I only got them chocolates and the next we are here, New Year!

What a whirlwind, not in the sense that our time has been taken up with relentless parties and endless entertaining because quite frankly its been a quiet one.  Its more the roller coaster of emotions that have been running through the house on a daily basis.  Don't get me wrong they have mostly been positive ones, with hyperactive giggling children, semi drunk over loving teenagers and the continuing honeymoon period of my current relationship but there has been a few dents in the whole rose tinted merriment of the holiday season.

For instance the slight panic I felt on Christmas eve with the prospect of 60 odd presents still to wrapped at 7pm and my designated helper gently snoring on the sofa.  This panic state was quickly averted by me also putting my head down and then us waking up together at 10pm and commencing the wrapping until 1am Christmas morning..See no problem really until of course we were woken up at 5am by 2 very excited little people.

Then there was the Boxing Day or otherwise known as, Mum's 70th birthday, moment of surrealism where we presented Mum with her birthday present...(a meat grinder) which she proceeded to completely unwrap take out the box and study intently. Leaving, what I would consider, some rather gruesome looking apparatus to hand and a strange glint in her eye as she handled the sausage maker expectantly.  I spent the rest of the day with the music of Sweeney Todd randomly popping in to my head at inopportune moments.

Then there was the rather unpleasant news on the 28th where we discovered that the house has damp via an email with alot of red writing and capitalisation in it. This was while we were trying to enjoy a local kids Christmas disco, which had already been slightly spoiled by the fact that Santa had run out of Christmas presents for all the children and had had to make a quick exit back to the sodding North Pole and back again (well that's what it felt like time wise) to magically provide presents to appease all the parents who'd paid the £5 for this enchanting event (tube of milky buttons, not impressed, to be honest though the kids couldn't have cared less of it was just the tube).

By the 30th we'd got to the running out of food stage and it was really a short straw moment as none of us had any desire whatsoever to leave the house, but New Years Day was fast approaching and someone had to go.  Mum was the hero of the hour, because after much wrangling and sighing and haven't we got ANYTHING left at all, she quietly slipped out the front door to return an hour later fully laden with basic essentials and a few goodies as well. A true family hero was greeted on her return, with various grunts from the children and a mumble from me of "did you buy me any chocolate?" (she had).

The infamous last night of the year (New Years Eve) was spent almost in the most perfect way possible, phone calls from the eldest every 90 minutes to tell me that she was still "FINE MOTHER"  The boys were bathed early with vast amounts of their new smellies and nice and settled and the evening was spent in various positions snuggled on the sofa wishing all the friends and family a Happy New Year via facebook, twitter and text, while laughing at some of the horrifically embarrassing images being posted all over the net, even before the clock has reached midnight.

I can honestly say I am as ready for 2014 as I have ever been ready for any new year but I did have a quick wonder what 2054 will be like and whether I will see it, being as that will be my 80th year as apposed to this one being my 40th :-) HAPPY NEW YEAR everyone :-)

The Wedding Photographer

Now I am no expert on the whole wedding thing.  I have had my own, I've been to a few, and now I have even been the photographer for a couple.  And each of these 3 perspectives has a completely different feel to them.  Oh some things are the same, people are generally happy at weddings, the bride and groom are always in a bit of a daze and grinning a lot, there's usually a gorgeously dressed baby who everyone coos over and the really old person that everyone is a bit nervous around. But having been the bride, the guest and the official photographer I think I am safe to say the latter is my favourite. Don't get me wrong I loved my wedding, but only because of who I was marrying, the party and the photos were additional.  The only important bit for me was the ceremony and the signing, after that it was more a party for everyone else, I'd done my bit. And its always nice when you get invited to a wedding, though I find the whole thing slightly stressful, trying to decide what to buy and how much to spend, then there's the whole dressing the part, shall we co-ordinate as a family or shall I just let the boys go in jeans and a t-shirt as they beg me not to have to wear a suit. Then there is the whole, are the children allowed to be there at all thing..In fact it always shocks me when I see an invite that expressly forbids you to bring your child.  Its at times like that I wonder why they invite people that have little ones if they are so anti them, or is this going to be some sort of X rated do that children shouldn't really be exposed too, who are these people ???? Then of course when you get there and you have to smile politely at people you don't really know, listen to tales of when you were little and you shat you're pants round Auntie Ethel's or worse still have random people who you met when you where in college who you really don't remember as you spent most of the time either pissed or stoned, greet you like you are BFF's and then they begin to tell you how amazing and wonderful it would be if you could get together for a drink to catch up, while all the time you are desperately trying to remember their name..Anyway my point is this being the "official" photographer allows you to still be at the wedding and get to see it and enjoy it, but nobody expects you to actually take part in any of it.  You can watch on the sidelines snapping away, catching treasured moments and secret whispers. People walk past you with an air of slight admiration and awe "so you are the one taking the all important photos, you must be good then" and they always eye the equipment sceptically like its going to jump up and bite them or somehow catch them doing something they shouldn't, but at the same time, panicking not to "hurt" any of it. So now at weddings I have authority, for a short time I get to boss the entire event around, people have to do as I say even the bride and groom and its all great. But my most favourite part of it all is capturing the other couples looking in to each others eyes reminiscing about their own wedding days. The little girls looking wondrously at the bride in her beautiful sparkling dress, the moment of the first kiss as a married couple and groom standing nervously waiting for the women of his dreams to be his forever. It is without doubt a magical event in our lives, and I am so happy I am getting to share it with so many good people, but kinda glad I'm not actually part of it bit like the Vicar really lol :-)

There is potential for randomness......

Morning/afternoon/evening for whatever time you are reading this. For me I am writing on a Thursday morning on half term week, which means that I am almost done with another school holiday and have managed to survive with only one wall covered in pen and no trips to A&E (so far). Ok single life over the last 5 months hasn't been half as scary as I thought it was going to be.  Every day is an adventure and for every obstacle overcome I gain a little more self respect and faith in myself. Having said that, as I hurtle towards the first of the kids birthdays as a single mum, I have found myself questioning lots of decisions.  Humf is turning 3 a week today and its been a rollercoaster for this little man so far in his three little years.  He's been through and faced possibly the worst time in his mothers life and just had to cope right from the day he was born. With this in mind I may have gone slightly overboard in trying to make his birthday special and I'll just have to try to find party bag fillers for 30 preschoolers and cater for these extremely demanding party food connoisseurs.  I am employing specialized disagreement mediators in case there are any arguments and bouncers in case we get gatecrashers or possible escapees. At least I'm not doing it all at home.  

Had a falling out with a facebook "friend" this week.  I don't know about you, but I try to be non judgemental when reading other people statuses even if i don't agree with the post.  I had received a speeding fine through the mail and had a little moan about the fact that Northants Police were very quick to charge me on doing 36 in a 30 zone but are taking nearly 6 months to deal with another far more serious matter.  Anyway this "friend" decided to start berating me for "speeding" and even when it was explained that I am a good driver and that it is well known that the police are only ever there as a money making exercises because no one has been run over in the town let alone just that one road, she still felt it necessary to lambaste me. In the end I politely asked her to delete me as she clearly wasn't prepared to listen and take on aboard anything that I or other people were saying and therefore I didn't want her to be part of my life.  She kindly obliged.  What I don't understand is why she felt is necessary to not only upset me with her comments and accusations but also the other people who were posting comments as well.  Its not as if she has to deal with these people personally on a day to day basis or even with them at all, what did she possibly have to gain by intentionally putting peoples backs up?

I think I know why they teaches us geometry in school. Its so when we have kids of our own and they come to us for help we can stare at them with wild panic in our eyes and have to admit to them that we just don't know everything.  They can then feel superior and so start the teenage process as it means to go on, them going round with a mildly over inflated ego and you tearing your hair out. This came to a head the other day when mooki moo brought her maths homework to me with a whine of "help me".  She handed me a piece of paper with various shapes, formulas and questions on volume, I had not a clue and as I went to open my mouth got told, there's no point as I obviously don't understand it and how is this possible when you are an accountant.  I then tried to explain that there is very little geometry in accounting but she'd already walked out in a huff by then. Somewhere the Gods of maths are sitting around chuckling at me I'm sure of it.  

Anyway I am sure you have had enough of my ramblings and its a lovely day so I suppose I should get us all ready and take us somewhere educational and fun. Speak to you soon you lovely lovely people xxx

Feeling all Gloria Gaynor “I survived” !!

I did it, I pulled the party off, with a little help from family and friends. Everyone said they had a lovely time and that the party was brilliant, and quiet frankly I don’t care if they are all lying. Mooki loved every minute of it, she looked gorgeous even if I do say so myself and she was an excellent hostess. I managed to embarrass her only once and she was horrible to me only once so that was pretty good going too. I spent most of the time with my head down trying not to be too visible, while her brothers spent as much time in the limelight as possible and her dad just continually poured out cups of squash. 9 ltrs of coke and 9 ltrs of lemonade went with in the first 45 minutes. The DJ was an arse who turned up late and started playing the music late which really peed me and her dad off, but mooki didn’t seem to mind, he has since sent me a customer satisfaction questionnaire which I refuse to fill out because I will probably write something defamatory that he’ll then sue me for.

Went for low key understated dressing for the party with a pair of skinny jeans and a pretty but not showy top and no one batted an eyelid. I was planning on wearing this really cool “vampire” dressing up outfit I’d picked up from Tesco for £15 and while I ignored her protests of “mum you can’t wear that !!” when 6 year old looked at me and said “mummy its not dressing up party and please don’t wear that” I relented and decided not to. Since the party I have added fake black nails and extra long lashes to go with my Vamp dress for trick or treating next Sunday (can’t wait :) ). My mother on the other hand, yes grandmother to birthday girl, decided she would pull out all the stops and where the sparkliest, shiniest and quiet possibly loudest thing in her wardrobe. It did raise an eyebrow on my face when I saw it and I wanted to ask her what the hell did she think she was playing at when I realised that I was being just like my kids and does it really matter.

Sunday we all crashed a burned. I was so tired and still so wired it wasn’t true. None of us felt like doing anything and we were all pretty grumpy. We had to wake the birthday girl up to open her presents, we’d all been sitting downstairs for 2 hours waiting for her and we were starting to get annoyed. So that started things off being tetchy. It took her 21/2 hours to open all her presents and her 74 birthday cards. At the end of this the boys were climbing up the walls with boredom and had started playing with her new makeup and bath stuff. You can imagine that didn’t go down to well. So when the in-laws arrived it was a relief to go out for Sunday dinner and not have to cook. The rest of Sunday was spent trying not to shout at each other and it was mostly successful.

We’re a week on and I am still recovering, except we have Ninja’s birthday at Kids Play tomorrow so that’ll be fun, 15 5 & 6 year olds running around that I don’t actually know, but I am sure it will feel a lot easier than last weeks event !!

Neat freak or Stig of the Dump

I'd like to say I'm both but my beloved would argue Stig all the way. I just can't seem to keep things tidy for more than 2 minutes, I think its heredity though my mother would kill me for saying that. I don't think it makes me a bad person just a messy one. Speaking of which I am in a real pickle.....

Mooki's 13th big birthday bash is coming up very soon and I am extremely conscience of not "showing her up". So I plan to keep as low a profile for the evening as possible, having said that I still need an outfit. I am torn, do I dress up or down? smart or casual? Jeans ok or do I need a dress. What to do what to do? Maybe I pose the question on facebook and see what other people think.

This week at college made my brain actually melted and the annoying tutor that had offended us all last week managed to upset me once again this week. He's very productive comment to me all lesson being "Caroline, you are looking very vacant but you seem to be getting everything right" I mean how bloody rude !!! He'd look sodding vacant dealing with 3 kids and one of them not having been very well.

I had eldest and middle one describe to me the conversations they have been having with their friends, it was a real eye opener. From Mooki forming a friendship with a friends boyfriend ( I am sure this will only lead to trouble) and Ninja telling me he's been discussing seeing me naked with his little school buds and that I shouldn't be mad at him.

I have so much to get organised over the next couple of weeks its almost impossible to try and fathom it. I have both the kids birthdays to organise, try and get myself back in to the swing of working and find time to get some home studying done and to top this all off my tumble dryer has packed up.!

Oh want is a girl to do.....

The wheels are turning just not sure of their direction

A year of nagging and I finally decide 4 weeks before her birthday that I need to sort out her party. This year being the big 13 she wants a massive one. Silly me has agreed. Fine, I've booked the hall today, found her an "intouch" DJ and have set the wheels in motion for her big event. As she came out of school feeling really down yesterday I was really looking forward to telling her my news about her party when she got home. She was really pleased, except the date was wrong, why couldn't I pay for her to have her hair done as well and was she getting the limo she'd asked for. Excuse me while I go and slit my wrists...!!! I shall keep you in formed of my progress as we go.