There is potential for randomness......

Morning/afternoon/evening for whatever time you are reading this. For me I am writing on a Thursday morning on half term week, which means that I am almost done with another school holiday and have managed to survive with only one wall covered in pen and no trips to A&E (so far). Ok single life over the last 5 months hasn't been half as scary as I thought it was going to be.  Every day is an adventure and for every obstacle overcome I gain a little more self respect and faith in myself. Having said that, as I hurtle towards the first of the kids birthdays as a single mum, I have found myself questioning lots of decisions.  Humf is turning 3 a week today and its been a rollercoaster for this little man so far in his three little years.  He's been through and faced possibly the worst time in his mothers life and just had to cope right from the day he was born. With this in mind I may have gone slightly overboard in trying to make his birthday special and I'll just have to try to find party bag fillers for 30 preschoolers and cater for these extremely demanding party food connoisseurs.  I am employing specialized disagreement mediators in case there are any arguments and bouncers in case we get gatecrashers or possible escapees. At least I'm not doing it all at home.  

Had a falling out with a facebook "friend" this week.  I don't know about you, but I try to be non judgemental when reading other people statuses even if i don't agree with the post.  I had received a speeding fine through the mail and had a little moan about the fact that Northants Police were very quick to charge me on doing 36 in a 30 zone but are taking nearly 6 months to deal with another far more serious matter.  Anyway this "friend" decided to start berating me for "speeding" and even when it was explained that I am a good driver and that it is well known that the police are only ever there as a money making exercises because no one has been run over in the town let alone just that one road, she still felt it necessary to lambaste me. In the end I politely asked her to delete me as she clearly wasn't prepared to listen and take on aboard anything that I or other people were saying and therefore I didn't want her to be part of my life.  She kindly obliged.  What I don't understand is why she felt is necessary to not only upset me with her comments and accusations but also the other people who were posting comments as well.  Its not as if she has to deal with these people personally on a day to day basis or even with them at all, what did she possibly have to gain by intentionally putting peoples backs up?

I think I know why they teaches us geometry in school. Its so when we have kids of our own and they come to us for help we can stare at them with wild panic in our eyes and have to admit to them that we just don't know everything.  They can then feel superior and so start the teenage process as it means to go on, them going round with a mildly over inflated ego and you tearing your hair out. This came to a head the other day when mooki moo brought her maths homework to me with a whine of "help me".  She handed me a piece of paper with various shapes, formulas and questions on volume, I had not a clue and as I went to open my mouth got told, there's no point as I obviously don't understand it and how is this possible when you are an accountant.  I then tried to explain that there is very little geometry in accounting but she'd already walked out in a huff by then. Somewhere the Gods of maths are sitting around chuckling at me I'm sure of it.  

Anyway I am sure you have had enough of my ramblings and its a lovely day so I suppose I should get us all ready and take us somewhere educational and fun. Speak to you soon you lovely lovely people xxx

Sun is shining weather is sweet.........

I did it...for the last 2 school days I have actually walked to school for pick up time.  Helped by the glorious sunshine and the fact Humf has discovered a new love for sitting in his buggy, I was spurred into action.  Now you may think this is nothing to get excited about but if I tell you I haven't done the walking thing in over a year and its actually a mile up hill all the way back you might be slightly more impressed.  I had people stopping me on the street asking if they had been warped in to another dimension as they couldn't believe I was actually using my legs and it feels really good to be doing it with add bonus of avoiding the ice cream truck at the park and its toning flabby bum cheeks.

So other things on the change cards go that I am finally attempting to tackle my awful skin, I can't quiet believe I have gone from just washing my face with water to blackhead clearer, toner, spot cream and then a tinted moisturiser all in the vein attempt to claw back a little of the once ok skin I had.  Not sure if its working but that also certainly makes me feels more positive towards myself. (well at least I am able to bring myself to look in the mirror again) Anna very kindly tried to tame my eyebrows for me and has them at least looking slightly less bushy and I have requested a lady shaver as one of my birthday gifts (not sure which of the kids is planning to give it to me yet though lol)

Tomorrow will be the first birthday I have spent as a single woman in about 20 yrs so will probably feel alittle strange, but to be honest its not frightening me at all, in fact I am looking forward to just letting my kids wish me a happy birthday give me their personal handmade cards and not putting any pressure on. I think I might treat us all to takeaway tomorrow if mooki doesn't feel like cooking and I will promise myself not to do any housework for that one day.  Bless my eldest has really stressed over getting me my presents, not only because she has no access to money, travel or anything else but she is still only 13 and felt the responsibility of having to buy birthday presents from her and her brothers for me very much.  In the end she has been so happy with what she chose for me that she has been busting to tell me ever since she bought it and at times getting grumpy because she can't tell me lol.

Friday night the girls are coming over, I have bought 12 cans of red bull and I am planning to buy some vodka to go with it. I am not a drinker by any means I don't even have a hollow little finger but I thought sod it.  My friends have been amazing to me over the last couple of months and its just a chance of saying a small thank you in return.  So I plan to get them drunk and then play silly party games with them while taking lots of pictures then threaten to put them on the Internet if they ever piss me off. See I am a nice person honest..!!! May have to purchase Grease singstar as I quiet fancy belting out "hopelessly devoted to you" "and you're the one that I want" I'm sure the neighbours will be fine about it.

Saturday I am going to see a medium, who apparently is very good.  I am not entirely sure what being good is but I suppose I will find out.  The only other time I  have done something like this was when I was alot younger and then my Grandmother and Grandfather came through for me and the experience did leaving me feeling reassured if just a little disappointed that my dad hadn't "contacted" me.  I know this kind of thing people can have very strong views about negative and positive and to be honest I am still alittle on the fence about the whole thing myself but I have made a promise to me that from now on I am not going to just say no to things because they are new or I don't understand them. 

For now, "no" isn't really a word I want in my vocabulary while I absolutely refuse anything that could in any way harm the children or myself I am prepared to be more open minded and open hearted with new experiences. At 36 (aahh 37 tomorrow) I feel like I have barely scratched the surface in human experience and its time to cram some stuff in before I pop this mortal coil.

Neat freak or Stig of the Dump

I'd like to say I'm both but my beloved would argue Stig all the way. I just can't seem to keep things tidy for more than 2 minutes, I think its heredity though my mother would kill me for saying that. I don't think it makes me a bad person just a messy one. Speaking of which I am in a real pickle.....

Mooki's 13th big birthday bash is coming up very soon and I am extremely conscience of not "showing her up". So I plan to keep as low a profile for the evening as possible, having said that I still need an outfit. I am torn, do I dress up or down? smart or casual? Jeans ok or do I need a dress. What to do what to do? Maybe I pose the question on facebook and see what other people think.

This week at college made my brain actually melted and the annoying tutor that had offended us all last week managed to upset me once again this week. He's very productive comment to me all lesson being "Caroline, you are looking very vacant but you seem to be getting everything right" I mean how bloody rude !!! He'd look sodding vacant dealing with 3 kids and one of them not having been very well.

I had eldest and middle one describe to me the conversations they have been having with their friends, it was a real eye opener. From Mooki forming a friendship with a friends boyfriend ( I am sure this will only lead to trouble) and Ninja telling me he's been discussing seeing me naked with his little school buds and that I shouldn't be mad at him.

I have so much to get organised over the next couple of weeks its almost impossible to try and fathom it. I have both the kids birthdays to organise, try and get myself back in to the swing of working and find time to get some home studying done and to top this all off my tumble dryer has packed up.!

Oh want is a girl to do.....

Sideways doesn't really work for me

I am in constant blissful ignorance of how fat I have become until I turn sideways. What happen to the washboard figure of yest er year is there any real point me living in the fantasy world that one day once again I will no longer be deeper than I am wider. I think I need to go back to looking at me, head on then I will be spending far to much time cringing at the state of my hair, skin and bags under my eyes that I don't have to worry about how rotund I am. On a bizarre note, experienced a very surreal grocery shopping trip today not only did I see many thigh length booted clad women (In Asda !!) on a Sunday, do they have no decorem ?? L0l but I saw my first aisle of Easter Eggs...Now I maybe being alittle churlish but ISN'T it abit bloody early !! We haven't even got passed Valentines Day, Mothering Sunday and most importantly MY Birthday ! at this rate I shall be receiving unwanted piles of chocolate for presents. I am still detoxing from the Christmas deluge of massive amounts of gooey goodness. Surely when everyone is harping on so alarmingly about the need for us to eat more healthy putting Easter Eggs in full view of sugar nutted children from JAN 30th should be banned. Its online shopping from now on until after Easter otherwise my kids will end up turning into Augustus Gloop.