Sideways doesn't really work for me

I am in constant blissful ignorance of how fat I have become until I turn sideways. What happen to the washboard figure of yest er year is there any real point me living in the fantasy world that one day once again I will no longer be deeper than I am wider. I think I need to go back to looking at me, head on then I will be spending far to much time cringing at the state of my hair, skin and bags under my eyes that I don't have to worry about how rotund I am. On a bizarre note, experienced a very surreal grocery shopping trip today not only did I see many thigh length booted clad women (In Asda !!) on a Sunday, do they have no decorem ?? L0l but I saw my first aisle of Easter Eggs...Now I maybe being alittle churlish but ISN'T it abit bloody early !! We haven't even got passed Valentines Day, Mothering Sunday and most importantly MY Birthday ! at this rate I shall be receiving unwanted piles of chocolate for presents. I am still detoxing from the Christmas deluge of massive amounts of gooey goodness. Surely when everyone is harping on so alarmingly about the need for us to eat more healthy putting Easter Eggs in full view of sugar nutted children from JAN 30th should be banned. Its online shopping from now on until after Easter otherwise my kids will end up turning into Augustus Gloop.