What, you want me to teach them that?

Had the last of my 7 exams yesterday and my tutor very sweetly marked it for us so we got our results last night. I passed with a "pretty much perfect" score and yes the pretty much part is annoying as I want to know what I got wrong. Anyway I am really happy that I have achieved another year in my course and as this year is equivalent to 4 a-levels I feel like I am doing OK, but I wouldn't have been able to get through these last 2 years with out the dedication and support of my tutors. This got me thinking, what drives these people to do what they do? Where do they find the patience,caring and understanding to put themselves through quite frankly a mostly thankless task.
You see there are things as parents no one else can really teach your kids, and I find these really really difficult to be strict on even though I know it is crucial.

1. Brushing their teeth, I have struggled with each one of the kids to get this, I don't know if I just show them wrong or they can sense my frustration but tooth brushing is always a battle. I try to keep calm, I get my toothbrush at the same time, I ask them to copy my movements, they then start brushing their teeth with the wrong side, or shoving the toothbrush down the back of their throat and the best one of all the just complete bewilderment when I ask them to do the ones at the back.  Frustration quickly surfaces for both of us and then the ensuing argument of let me do it, no I want to do it when all I want to do is get them out of the house and in to school. The whole thing is a torturous event that has to happen on a daily basis, twice a day for goodness sake I'm surprised I haven't scarred the kids for life with this.

2. Cutting up dinner, really ! I can't be anymore cack-handed in my trying to show them how to do this. I can blame being a lefty all I like but I still don't think it excuses me the various throwing of cutlery across the room in frustration and the stabbing of rather large pieces of meat and saying "just eat it like that". How on earth my parents managed to teach me this art form is beyond me, I am sure if I was to do regression therapy a dinner time teaching session would come up as a traumatic event in my life.  The kids kind of leave me too it when I start and in fact Mooki moo is very kindly taking over this teaching job for me so that Ninja doesn't have to be put through the anguish of seeing his mother lose all sense of hand eye coordination.

3. Tying shoeless laces, it doesn't happen, it just doesn't happen. For one thing I still can't tie a shoeless properly so whatever I teach the kids would be wrong so there really is no point.  I think Mooki moo has picked up the skill to do it somewhere along the way and I may have to hand this task over to her as well to teach the boys but then its not that easy finding a situation anymore that needs a bow tied. I haven't bought a shoe with laces for the kids ever I don't think and so have carefully avoid this whole minefield for many years.

Oh goodness me, I've just realised, I have boys and they do sports, that will mean football boots, trainers, and other various lacy bits of equipment..anyone know of any good shoelace tutors please.......?

There is potential for randomness......

Morning/afternoon/evening for whatever time you are reading this. For me I am writing on a Thursday morning on half term week, which means that I am almost done with another school holiday and have managed to survive with only one wall covered in pen and no trips to A&E (so far). Ok single life over the last 5 months hasn't been half as scary as I thought it was going to be.  Every day is an adventure and for every obstacle overcome I gain a little more self respect and faith in myself. Having said that, as I hurtle towards the first of the kids birthdays as a single mum, I have found myself questioning lots of decisions.  Humf is turning 3 a week today and its been a rollercoaster for this little man so far in his three little years.  He's been through and faced possibly the worst time in his mothers life and just had to cope right from the day he was born. With this in mind I may have gone slightly overboard in trying to make his birthday special and I'll just have to try to find party bag fillers for 30 preschoolers and cater for these extremely demanding party food connoisseurs.  I am employing specialized disagreement mediators in case there are any arguments and bouncers in case we get gatecrashers or possible escapees. At least I'm not doing it all at home.  

Had a falling out with a facebook "friend" this week.  I don't know about you, but I try to be non judgemental when reading other people statuses even if i don't agree with the post.  I had received a speeding fine through the mail and had a little moan about the fact that Northants Police were very quick to charge me on doing 36 in a 30 zone but are taking nearly 6 months to deal with another far more serious matter.  Anyway this "friend" decided to start berating me for "speeding" and even when it was explained that I am a good driver and that it is well known that the police are only ever there as a money making exercises because no one has been run over in the town let alone just that one road, she still felt it necessary to lambaste me. In the end I politely asked her to delete me as she clearly wasn't prepared to listen and take on aboard anything that I or other people were saying and therefore I didn't want her to be part of my life.  She kindly obliged.  What I don't understand is why she felt is necessary to not only upset me with her comments and accusations but also the other people who were posting comments as well.  Its not as if she has to deal with these people personally on a day to day basis or even with them at all, what did she possibly have to gain by intentionally putting peoples backs up?

I think I know why they teaches us geometry in school. Its so when we have kids of our own and they come to us for help we can stare at them with wild panic in our eyes and have to admit to them that we just don't know everything.  They can then feel superior and so start the teenage process as it means to go on, them going round with a mildly over inflated ego and you tearing your hair out. This came to a head the other day when mooki moo brought her maths homework to me with a whine of "help me".  She handed me a piece of paper with various shapes, formulas and questions on volume, I had not a clue and as I went to open my mouth got told, there's no point as I obviously don't understand it and how is this possible when you are an accountant.  I then tried to explain that there is very little geometry in accounting but she'd already walked out in a huff by then. Somewhere the Gods of maths are sitting around chuckling at me I'm sure of it.  

Anyway I am sure you have had enough of my ramblings and its a lovely day so I suppose I should get us all ready and take us somewhere educational and fun. Speak to you soon you lovely lovely people xxx

I have no time to stand and stare

This is the life full of care
I have no time to stand and stare

No time to look through window panes
At beautiful shoes never worn again

No time for haircuts and beauty treats
Cups of coffee with friends to meet

No time to sit and read that book
Of far off peoples and roads they took

But still I'm happy with all my life
Through all the heartache, trouble and strife

My children are the ones that breathe
New life in all I can bequeath

With them I take the time to see
The sweetness and joy of their life with me

Thank you my darlings my precious ones
For making me the happiest mum.

He's not ill he's old, and is sugar free actually better?

Ok today has been quite a harrowing day which started a few weeks, even a few months ago.  My dog, the one who has seen my through two ex's now and has been a patient companion to 3 babies pulling and tugging at his tail, 3 toddlers using him as pull along toy and 3 kids moaning at him for sniffing their food is  approaching his 16th year.  And I suppose with some understanding he has slowed down an awful lot.  No more does he bound up to you upon opening the front door and shower you with hugs (yes literally, he used to hug people) and kisses, in fact most of the time he doesn't actually notice you coming in.  But with all this my 90+ year old pal still makes it up the stairs, still has the patience of an angel when it comes to the kids and still wants to steal that juicy bit of steak that you conveniently left on your plate. I appreciate that he won't last for ever but increasingly have been getting pressure from various people who love and care for me that maybe it might be Jake's time.  So I relented under the pressure and summoned the courage to take him to the vets.  2pm my appointment was for, so for most of the day I spent the time crying, making a fuss of him and even went as far as to text the first ex (I bought the dog originally for him) to tell him what was going on and miracles upon miracles even he was sympathetic and offered his condolence. When we split there was some debate as to who was going to have custody of the dog and for practical reasons it was decided that he would be better off staying with me.  As it got closer to the allotted time my sadness deepened, for while I was convinced that actually he wasn't that bad everyone else was convinced otherwise.  I had to drag him to the car, he yelped as I put him in and all the time I kept thinking about how this might be his last few minutes on the earth and look what I was putting him through.  When we got to the vets he was actually quite excited (he really doesn't get out much these days) and so I let him have a good wander and sniff around the place and then with a hung head went into the surgery.  We were told to take a seat and wait while the vet finished with the previous appointment. A very sad looking woman came out with an empty cat basket and the lady behind the reception desk while handing her a bill for over £300 pounds said that she was very sorry for her loss.  This was not going well and I tried to cover Jake's ears. We were called in and I was asked if I had made my mind up to which I said most definitely not and that I wanted him checked over first.  I think the vet was a bit relieved.  The nurse walked in with a horrible looking needle full up with stuff and was hastily told to leave as that wouldn't be necessarily be needed.  By this point Jake had realised that this wasn't a pleasure trip and quite frankly didn't want the vet anywhere near him.  How do they know that's a vet, he isn't scared of anybody apart from vets and I don't know about you but to me they look just like everyone else.  Anyway the vet gave him a good examination asked me if he was still eating? does he cough? is he still getting about? all of which I answered truthfully with a yes, no and a yes and his verdict came back with a..he's doing remarkably well for a dog of his advanced years and fundamentally there seemed nothing wrong with him.  I was amazed and over joyed.  As far as the vet was concerned the dog was in noway suffering and there was absolutely no good reason why he would have to be put down. In fact he went as far as to say would you put a 90+ year old man to sleep just because his joints were alittle bit stiff in the morning and he wasn't quite as steady on his feet anymore. No painkillers, no steroid jabs in fact nothing at all to increase his profits by adding to my expense (ex no 2 always maintained vets where only there to make money).  So it cost me £24.95 to put my mind at ease that the dog was not ill just old and now I can truthfully say to all those who think I maybe keeping him going for my own selfish reasons, that in fact no, he is a very fit 90+ year old well as fit as he as can be expected. Tonight he has bounded in from the garden, stolen Humfs burger off his plate and annoyed the cat and I have never been happier :0)

Just as a little side note to this post, but its been bugging the hell out of me for ages. You know all this sugar free stuff that is full of fake sugar does anyone know if that stuff is actually worse for kids than natural sugar?