Aaaahhggghhhh This frustrates me so much !

Right, before we begin, please don't get me wrong, I am in the business of making people feel good about themselves. Admittedly not in the direct way, a make up artist or a hairdresser does, but I still capture people at a given moment in their lives. A place they can look back on and bring back memories, and ultimately I don't want those memories to be bad ones. So for this reason I aim to make people look good and in turn feel good. OK? we clear, you know where I stand now ? fine we shall carry on.

As I am progressing with my photography I am discovering the different "types" and I don't mean to be sexist or anything but I am talking about women here, men there seems to be only one type, the one that doesn't want to be in front of the camera at all, and who refuses to smile, just in case they look silly, so would rather look like miserable grumpy old git instead. Anyway I am digressing, and while most of us fall in to the "ooh I really don't like having my photo taken, but I know I will regret it if I don't, so I may as well make the best of it" section.  There are a minority that will inevitable fall in to the polar opposites of this spectrum.

Now what I find absolutely fascinating and sometimes a little sickening is the fact the ones who you'd think traditionally would be a "Girl, I love myself" types, ie young, pretty, slim, flawless complexion and whole life in front of them are usually the ones that want to run away and hide when the camera comes out, whereas the "cougar generation" namely single older women who think that just because they are over 40 all blokes are going to be salivating at them because they've "experienced" life but actually, have to wear makeup, hide the fact they've eaten a chocolate eclair, and can't leave the house until everything has been pinned, stretched, sucked in and pushed up are all in my face with a "get my good side love !"  errrrr would that be behind the door then ?

Now before you go shouting and calling me out, remember paragraph 1.  These extremes I am talking about aren't your average woman, lady or girl.  I have had beautiful young things coming to have their photos taken because parents are insisting, who look as miserable as sin as soon as I hold the camera up and I know their photos will look stunning, but for some reason they feel so damn ugly inside it hurts. Why do they suffer so? yes I know media has a lot to do with it but this isn't a new phenomena.  Girls have been told from day dot they must make themselves presentable if they want to "find a man" which is fine, being clean, tidy and healthy is a good thing.  But why do so many younger people find it so difficult to like themselves and then there are these middle aged women who think they are the dogs boll*cks when actually they come across as a little bit sad trying to convince everyone they are still as young and vibrant as a 20 year old.

If only I could give these younger people, a bottle full of what these older people think they have, allow them to be confident and sexy without fear of being judged in anyway. Its like life's kick in the butt, when you have it you don't realise it and when you realise you had it, you are already past it (well at least you do if you have any self respect lol) I know I know, but seriously do you think Madonna is doing herself any favours, do you really think Cher has got it right.  Would you approve of your 60+ mother trying to make herself look 20+ or would you tell her she's being ridiculous?

I think what I am trying to say is, beauty is in the eye of the beholder or the camera lens as in my case.  So when I look at you through the camera, yes I see your imperfections ( we ALL have them), and yes I can see your worries but also I can see the sparkle in your eyes, the genuine warmth from your smile, the gentleness in your face.  These are the things that make a beautiful photograph, these are the images, that stop people in their tracks and say Wow you look lovely there.  It doesn't matter how much make up or sucking in or pushing up you do if these genuine emotions aren't there, or if you are trying to be something you are clearly not then this shows through the image and every image you take will look fake and unattractive.  Do you see what I am saying, be yourself, because yourself is beautiful and worthy no matter what your head tells you when you see your photo, as the people around you will tell you, you are loved and cherished for YOU. So next time you have a camera pointed at you and you are feeling unsure, look at the people around you see them smiling at you because they love you, then face the camera and SMILE :-)

Since you've been gone..........

Light bulbs have been changed, toilets unblocked and bins taken out.

The TV is mine and I iron in front of it.

When doors slam no one jumps any more.

The only shouts are ones of excitement.

The only time there is crying, is for scraped knees, banged heads or sad stories.

Smiles are made in mirrors.

Songs are sung at any time.

Family and friends visit when ever they choose.

Homework is done on time.

Things are broken, but then they are fixed.

We eat together.

Sleep together.

Laugh together.

Boundaries are crossed but way backs are negotiated with love not lectures.

There are no pants to pick up.

I'm no longer referred to as "babe, wench or c**t" but "mummy" the only name that matters.

Grades are up.

Self confidence is up.

We now know we are all worthy fabulous individuals

Make up is worn.

Clothes and boys are discussed freely.

Dinners are adventures with lots of different things being tried all the time.

The kids eat tons of fish, bagels, matzo, pasta, asparagus, french beans.

Spelling, reading and maths are done for fun.

Playstation games are played and don't give nightmares.

Confidence is overflowing.

Normality is standard.

We can all breathe.