AAAAAHHHH frustrated...
How are you guys? I know its been awhile since I have blogged again, my work rate is, how shall we put it "inconstant"? at the best of times. But I am here now ready to vent, I mean discuss various topics in a sensible manner.
So they've been back at school a month. Biggest has started her A-levels which she is enjoying, I think being able to concentrate on the fewer subjects and they also being ones she really enjoys has focused her mind and she seems to have settled in well. Middle one is the last year to have been moved to the middle school. Which much to most of the locals are disgusted is being closed down in favour of the two tier system rather than the three tier system we currently have.
He's finding middle school holds all the challenges you'd expect. The building is alot larger, there are more teachers and the homework is alot harder. While he is still up for the challenge, he is finding it a challenge though his peers seem not to have noticed, having voted him to be class Representative for the school council and generally being seen as a good friend and nice person. He lets off the pressure at bit at home, which is fine, but sometimes getting snapped at by my usually placid child takes me by surprise.
Little bit on the other hand is a law unto himself. He just doesn't like being told what to do, following rules or generally being bossed around. Which at school you are gonna get from time to time..
He hasn't quite figured it out yet if you bend to the system the system will bend to you. Tonight I am going in to see his teacher for the 2nd time in as many weeks if only to plead my case on what the heck am I suppose to do with him? He's a sweet boy, with a big heart and inquisitive mind who just has a very strong opinion of himself. He wants to have friends, be social and enjoy life, but he finds things so frustrating when they don't go the way he thinks they ought to, He struggles with a few social concepts not understanding what others might be thinking and also while he tries his hardest to empathise with his peers, sometimes he just "doesn't get it" and this frustrates him further.
He doesn't like to push himself preferring to step back and allow others to show him when he and they both know he is capable of whatever it is he wants to achieve. He lacks confidence in his abilities so tends to hide behind people letting them shine while keeping himself to himself.
He's so able, soaking in knowledge all the time and having a far greater understanding for what is going on around him but refusing to show it, almost as if he knows if he allows people to see what he is capable of then they will expect that from him more and he just doesn't want to give it.
How frustrating, he's intelligent, bright, engaged, loving and generous of spirit but doesn't want anyone to know that about him. What do I do with that, how do I make him see that allowing people to see him for himself doesn't mean he'll be stuck doing things he doesn't want to do. How do you explain that to a 6 year old who spends his life thinking everyone is just trying to boss him around for the sake of it.
AAGGGHHAAAGGHH
Keep your fingers crossed for me his teacher has some thoughts because I am at a loss.