One week on....

I really wished someone had calmly sat me down and explained exactly what the ramifications of Humf getting his tonsils done would actually be. I don't think I thought once of all the implications which has left me very unprepared and more than a little startled.

Firstly I should have spent more time explaining to the kids what was happening and why. They just woke up Wednesday morning to Humf going to the hospital with mum and dad and them going off to school. I did manage to arrange childcare for them for school collecting time but didn't plan for dinner or putting to bed or even the possibility of Hubbie needing to stay with me. I burned bridges with my mum because she upset me with what seemed to be a lack of empathy for what was happening so was expecting no support from her..

As it happens Humf didn't go in for his operation till around 2pm. Having to hold him as they inserted the cannula and then watch as they pumped drugs in to him to make him sleep was indescribably horrible. As he all of a sudden stop crying and his eyes rolled in to the back of his head I just totally fell apart. They grabbed him off me and put him on the trolley as I nearly collapsed to the floor, then they whisked me out the room trying to calm me. As soon as I was out the room I wanted to run back and make them wake him up, it was terrible. I really had to control myself not to run back in there screaming "no don't do it, just wake him, we can go home".

The wait for him to come back was surreal, I don't think I was consciences of anything else but waiting for him to come back. Paul had left his phone on the ward so he ran back to get it and within what seems like a few minutes of him being gone I heard a child crying. I sat there in the waiting room sitting on the edge of my seat listening to this child crying, thinking that's my child, God I am so happy I can hear my child crying. I waited and no one came for me and still I heard this child crying, at this point I was starting to doubt my conviction that it was Humf so I decided to stand outside the room even though they had specifically told us to wait in there. Standing at the door frame listening to him screaming and still no one coming to get me I decided I wasn't prepared to wait any longer. My baby was in major distress and I was going to find him. Just at this point Paul came back in to the surgery room and together we walked in to the recovery room to see Humf still asleep, blood pouring down his face screaming at the top of his voice (he'd just had his tonsils removed for goodness sake) trying to get out of the arms of this nurse...I've never been so happy and so upset at the same time ever.

Looking back I can feel a bit sorry for the nurse, she was trying to do her best to calm him down. But he has both his parents fiery blood in him and he just wanted a parent not a stranger holding him while he was feeling so vunerable and scared. Paul held him, stroked his hair, rubbed his back and soothed him and he relaxed enough for them to take all the tubes off and check his blood pressure and heart rate. It took him a good two hours to come round properly and by about 4 hours after the surgery he'd managed a drink and a bit of sausage. But all he wanted to do was come home.

Much to my relief my mum had ignored my childishness and traveled up to be with my other two this allowed Paul to stay with us and support me through that first night and being in the hospital. Its been a week now and while I can't say he is totally over it he is getting better everyday. His hearing is so much improved and his breathing while he is sleeping is quieter and much more regular. So feeling positive it will all be worth it.

Roll on October and eldest 13th birthday and Ninja 6th its party time for the Hill family.

48 hours down and no homework done

Started back at college on Tuesday. It was nice to see familiar faces, though I was surprised at who was there and more importantly who wasn't. Some people are very good at hiding what's really going on with their lives. The two most diligent, teachers pet types from last year didn't go on to this year. If I'd been having a bet who was going to continue I would have put both these down as being a sure thing. Not sure how many of the newbies will last. One lady who seems quiet unassuming sure knows her stuff and wasn't fazed by the first lesson at all. Of the 3 others I can't see the professional poker player staying the course. It seems a far stretch to imagine someone who spends nights playing poker for big money suddenly wanting to work in an accounts office but you never know.

We have the pleasure of 2 tutors this year which is fine. Our Finance tutor is a big hulk of a man who knows he is big but doesn't seem to know what to do about it. He made it quiet clear we should call him Stephen not Steve and went in to a long winded explanation as to why it annoys him so much. This annoyed me somewhat especially as when we asked him what books will we need for the year he didn't have a clue. In the afternoon we have "dragon lady" erm I mean Victoria (not Vicky!!) who seems to be an extremely uptight woman who could probably do with letting her hair down alittle and feeling the "love" though I did get the impression that she may have a bit bigger than soft spot for our old tutor Mike. Hhmm I wonder if he knows?? To be fair though she was alot more organised than our morning tutor and at least she did in fact manage to teach us something and set us some homework. Which in case you are wondering no I haven't got round to doing yet.

It would have been a pleasant day at college if I wasn't constantly thinking about what was planned for Wednesday. One of the worst days of my life..!!

He had the operation. Watching him go under anesthetic was horrendous I never want to watch one of my kids go through that again unless they have to of course. The hospital was lovely and clean and they tried to make us comfortable but he hated it. From the moment he came round he wanted to go home and it was very stressful being there. Not helped by 15 year old boy in the bed next door moaning about him crying all the time. I think I will have to wait until I can get my head round what happened a bit better before I can blog about it properly but it really was awful in so many ways.

I'm just hoping it that its just onwards and upwards for this family as we certainly deserve it. :0)