The Picnic

And no its not a new horror movie, though in some ways it could have been. At the beginning of the summer holidays a leaflet popped through the door, advertising a free picnic on the green near our house fun and games for the kids. Oh lovely I thought, that will be a welcome treat until I realised it was the local Churches organising it and that my kind would probably not be welcomed, (being a non practising Jew lol). So I put it in the bin and thought nothing of it. Saturday came and Paul and Ninja went off to do some bike riding practise. He has managed to come off the stabilizers over this holiday. They weren't gone long when the doorbell rang. I opened the door to see a very excited little face "Mum they are doing a funfair thingy on the green, can we go?" "Erm, ok we'll go see what its all about". So they put the bikes away and we went back to the green. There they were the God people looking a bit forlorn and down hearted. We were spotted and they began frantically waving at us to come over. I was frozen solid to the pavement and couldn't move, indecisive as to how to get out of this situation and if my prayers (haha) were answered the heavens opened and the rain came crashing down. At which point I bent over to Ninja and said "maybe we should go home as it pouring with rain". We ran home, "please mum, can we get our coats and go back" SH*T !! "oh ok we can" So we doned our coats and grabbed an umbrella. As we walked on to the green the look of relief on these poor bedraggled people was plain. "Please help yourself to food, here come and stand under the gazebo, sorry about the weather" as if it was their fault. I mumbled gratitude and told them not to be silly and then politely nodded to their questions on was I ok and was the food alright. At last the rain stopped and a few more people with children had turned up. Ninja was completely getting stuck in with all the games they could muster and when they ran out of ideas for races he started giving them ideas for new ones. He was loud and excited and within about 1/2 hour everyone knew his name, his baby brothers name and what his favourite colour, food, tv program is. They were ever so patient and welcoming and they really worked hard trying to keep the kids busy and entertained. Humf didn't stop eating and kept asking for a lolly every 5 minutes, he even lost he's temper at one point and ran off with all the beanbags for one game. We ended up having a really lovely afternoon and God wasn't mentioned once (which I was quiet grateful for). I'm really glad Ninja persuaded me to go and I would defiantly go again, and not just for the free ham rolls. It only goes to show that I shouldn't be so ready to dismiss something just because it goes out of my usual comfort zone.

Verging on the side of mental

4 weeks of the summer holidays done, cabin fever has well and truly set in. Just glad hubbie has been home for this last week to help stem the madness. The kids are as usual totally inspirational in their thinking. From Ninja deciding his daddy was a stream train, to Mooki being pretty sure that the bunch of ladybirds on a bush would be a bit peeved that they were all wearing the same outfit to the bugball. We've defiantly managed to get some things done, the front garden looks so much better and the house is starting to resemble a home not a pigsty. It all just goes to reinforce my belief that this family would be much better off with Hubbie working alot closer to home. I have total respect for those families that deal with one parent or the other spending a good portion of the week away from their family working. I just think this family doesn't cope well with that. Don't get me wrong, the kids are fed and watered and they get to school on time clean and ironed. Its just that I think they need the balance of mum and dad in their lives. I'm the first one to admit my desire for an easy life over rules many of the tougher decisions I should take. Crisps and chocolate for breakfast happens more often than is probably good. I am also pretty disorganised most of the time leaving me with many school trip money and pe kit moments. But more important than any of that, is my family desire to discuss and enquire. All my children are very inquisitive wanting to discuss and analysis many different aspects of their lives and to be honest their dad is amazing at doing this with them. He has the most patience and the biggest desire to help them through their tumbling thoughts (mine too for that matter). He always stops whatever he is doing to pay them attention, even when it annoys him, and makes them feel important and valued. He is level headed and allows me to have my "moments" without exposing the children to it. He is clear thinking and hard working and is such a positive influence that I have no doubt that when he goes back to working 14 hours a day again there will be a gaping hole in our lives. So my plan of action has to be, above all else, finding away to keep him from having to do work those long hours and getting him to be able to spend more time at home.

If I hear I’m bored one more time

I really don’t know who suffers more through the summer holidays the parents or the kids lol. I suppose if you have loads of spare cash washing about and plenty of non working relatives that live in wonderful old cottages that are perched by the side of beautiful woods and creaks. The summer holidays could be filled with lots of healthy outdoor adventure. But if you are like me, and don’t have any of that, 6 weeks is a bloody long time.  My kids are going stir crazy, to say the very least.  I have done 2 indoor playgrounds, 1 trip to legoland, a blockbusters trip and numerous trips to the park and with all of that.  Sky, playstation, pc they are within minutes telling me they are bored. I am at my wits end, I need to work. I don’t know what to do. I am so feeling like the worst mother in the world right now.  I can’t be though can I? I love my children and they love me I just think 6 weeks is to darn long. !

Won't be doing that again in a hurry

Seriously disappointed. Ninja has been watching the adverts (that are on incessantly) for Legoland and has been busting to go. So week 3 in to the holidays we decided to take them. To start with it was a 2 hour journey that become 3, given that extra hour thanks to me doggedly following the stupid satnav. Fine, the kids were perfectly behaved and all the traffic queues were moderate, so we managed to get there for 11am (opens at 10). Lots of excited anticipation coming from the kids, got to the kiosk 2 adults and 2 children (one under 3 so free haha !!) £105 yes you read it right £105. I'm sure if we were prepared to cause a scene hubbie and I would have just asked for our money back there and then and gone home. As we didn't we both went pale, felt sick and continued in to the park. Word of warning there is almost nothing, really nothing for a toddler there !! Humf and I spent the next 8 hours basically waiting for hubbie and ninja to go on to rides and then queue up again and go on another. The most exciting parts of the day for humf were watching the trains go round the model village and playing with some lego for an hour while the other 2 queued for one ride. Being 2cm's under the required height restrictions, which was applied ridiculously to every ride in the park (even the toddler train !!) we just spent the day watching rather than participating and by the end of it I had been hit, bitten and kicked in shear frustration as humf watched his big brother do things that really and truly he could have as well. All things considered, the extreme long waiting times and general bad organisation of everything Ninja was well behaved but it wasn't until after 4pm that he got to enjoy himself. He went on more things and had more fun in the last hour of the park being open than he had in the whole day. I think the most fun he had was on the bungee trampoline (which cost us an extra £5). He went sooo god damn high, the man set it to as high as possible and still Ninja was loving it, he must have been jumping 30-40 ft in the air and every time the man bounced him my stomach landed in my mouth. All in all I would not reccommend Legoland on any counts, and I shall be trying to persuade hubbie to take us to Drayton Manor (Thomas Land) for the little one before the end of the summer hols. DON'T GO, Thorpe Park is much better !!

The Housewives Lament

Oh ironing oh ironing
You really are a chore
You promised some excitement
But you're really just a bore

Oh washing up oh washing up
The dishes are never done
When we started out together
You said that you'd be fun

Oh hoovering oh hoovering
You do make my arms ache
You're noisy and you're cumbersome
And forever you do take

Oh polishing oh polishing
At least you smell quiet nice
Apparently if I inhale to hard
You can become a vice

Oh housework oh housework
Forever shall we meet
But never with a smile from me
As from you I'm always beat

And they call me weird

Well possibly they might be right.  Can’t believe how crap the weather has been so far this summer holiday.  The kids are going bonkers with boredom and to be honest so am I.  I think I need some contingency planning for the rest of the summer if the weather is going to continue to behave in this awful manner.  The difficulty in keeping 2, 5 and 12 entertained at the same time is immense.  Maybe I am just not being as committed to the problem as I should be but they are arguing incessantly and what ever I suggest one of them will either whine loudly about it or in the case of the 2 year old just not understand it at all.  Getting them out of the house but keeping them sheltered from the weather is extremely expensive.  I took the two littlest ones to an indoor climbing frame the other day, just me and them and that ended up costing me about £40 we were only there an hour and a half !!  Trip to the cinema is easily £60 by the time you’ve bought 3 hotdogs and lets not even mention the “S” word as I think I would have a riot on my hands.  So this weekend I am going to Google things to do and make a plan for next week. Well I will try to anyway, lol 

The age of the Dinosaurs is alive and well..!!

I can not believe that. I am so shocked, I shall explain. Humf h as just brought me in the post. In his excitement for job well done, he has managed to rip open one of the envelopes that came through the door. It was addressed to Hubbie, and as it was pretty much open I pulled the rest of it out.

Now correct me if I am wrong and being sexist but for the most part anything to do with the families health normally comes under the woman’s remit. We are the ones that make the appointments, get the repeat prescriptions and phone for results. So when I realised this letter to hubbie was from the doctor’s surgery I got slightly concerned. It was nothing, just a letter explain, that the surgery will be moving and we should be aware. All fine you say until I read how the letter is addressed. Now remember it had hubbies name on the front “To the head of the household” in capital and bold !! lol. Really, I mean really, I’m jut wondering how many of the crotchy horribly rude receptionists that think they are a medical encyclopaedia and can diagnose you by just the sound of your voice would feel about receiving a letter addressed like that.

Should I be too offended, no I don’t think so. Should I hide it so hubbie can’t use it as proof of what he is always trying to tell me, that it is actually him that wears the trousers even though he leaves me to make all the decisions, no. I shall show him and give him the satisfaction of knowing the creepy women at the surgery think he is head of the household. Do I think it was the Porsche driving misogynistic doctor , who winked at my 12 year old daughter and said “I’ll see you soon”, to which I replied “not without me !!” who decided it would be a good idea to send them out addressed like that, yes I bloody well do. Will I say something to the creepy women behind the counter next time I am down there for a blocked up nose or bright red rash, no probably not, I’d have to get permission from the head to do that ;0)